Quick question: what’s common to the American rap-rock band Limp Bizkit, the ancient Egyptian God Horus, and remote tribes of Papua New Guinea?
The answer: soggy biscuit.
Curious? Read on.
Anthropologists have for centuries recorded strange rituals from far away lands that perplex the modern mind. Few however, are stranger than the curious English ritual called soggy biscuit.
As the name implies, this ritual implies a biscuit that is soggy.
Soggy biscuit is a ritual that involves a group of males masturbating together on to, you guessed it right, a biscuit. The last person to ejaculate on the biscuit gets the (dis)honor of eating the biscuit, by now soaked in a lot of unsavory fluids.
Hence the name soggy biscuit.
If you’re American, you’ll likely call it a cookie instead of a biscuit, and the ritual an ookie cookie or a limp biscuit.
Irrespective of what one calls it, the soggy biscuit doesn’t become any more appetizing.
So why does a reader of heritagepedia need to know about soggy biscuits, or ookiee cookie or limp biscuit ?
Repulsive as it may sound, the soggy biscuit game is quite popular as an initiation ritual into several all-male fraternities and societies such as those at elite English public schools.
And for a reason. It serves as a test of the male’s manhood.
When we say all male, we mean boys of course, not men. Only a freckle-faced, acne-ridden teenaged boy overwhelmed by the hormonal Molotov Cocktail going off inside his body could possibly ejaculate to the sight of a cookie.
Which is why the soggy biscuit game is used as a test of masculinity in all-male societies. To the 14-year old male adolescent mind, a real man doesn’t have off days. A real man delivers, no matter the circumstances. A real man can cum even on a cookie. And cum fast. For the last man standing, is a limp biscuit. And he must pay for his limpness, by consuming the effulgence of other men more manly than him.
Crazy, but that’s just how human societies behave especially when no one’s watching.
Although the Soggy Biscuit may have originated as an English public school ritual, it has equivalents in several other, much more ancient cultures around the world.
A Cultural History of Semen Ingestion
Several cultures the world over have myths and rituals that involve ingestion of another man’s semen. Below we present a short whirlwind tour through thousands of years of history.
1. Seth and Horus from Ancient Egypt
In Egyptian mythology, Seth and Horus were two gods locked in a constant battle against each other. Seth killed his own brother Osisris, whose son Horus sought revenge from his uncle, Seth.
In one episode of their combat, Seth sought to sodomize his own nephew by pinning him down. However, at the critical moment of ejaculation, Horus caught Seth’s semen in his hands and threw it into the Nile.
Seth walks off, confident that he has finally subdued his rival and rebellious nephew by ejaculating his semen into him.
However, unbeknownst to Seth, the inverse was about to happen. Not only had Seth not ejaculated into Horus, he was about to consume Horus’ semen, and thus be defeated.
Horus’ mother Isis ( who is also Seth’s sister) spreads Horus’ semen on lettuce leaves which she knew Seth was fond of eating.
And thus Seth, unwittingly ends up consuming his rival’s semen.
When the Gods are asked to judge the winner of the epic battle , the Gods choose Horus as the winner, for he had succeeded in making Seth ingest his sperm, even if on a lettuce.
Not very different to the modern day ritual of soggy biscuit, that.
Horus’ “victory” in this battle of the biscuits against his uncle had ramifications across millennia. Horus lives on today as a bringer of good luck and a guardian against the evil of eye. The Eye of Horus, for instance is a very common symbol that is used as a tattoo and in necklaces as a good luck charm.
And if you find yourself fascinated by Egyptian mythology, Geraldine Pinch’s classic Guide to the Gods, Goddesses and Traditions of Ancient Egypt is a great place to start.
2. The Borborites
The Borborites were an early Chrisitan sect that thrived in Eastern Europe and the near East sometime around the 3rd century CE. Most of the information about the Borbonites comes from Epiphanius of Salamis who lived in Cyprus in the late 4th century.
Epiphanius writes that the Borborites consumed menstrual blood and semen as the blood and body of Christ as their version of the Christian ritual of Eucharist.
That is pretty gruesome, if true. Although given that Epiphanius was opposed to the Borborites, it is likely that his account might be a little exaggerated. The writings of Epiphanius of Salamis are fortunately available to us in a paperback edition.
3. Tantric Buddhism and Tachikawa Ryu
Tantra is an esoteric and unorthodox sect of Hinduism and Buddhism that flourished around the 8th to 12th centuries CE in India, Tibet, South East Asia, and Japan. Several Tantra sects were known to transgress the boundaries of what was morally acceptable by societies, with practices such as skull worship and unrestrained sex.
One such sect was the Tachikawa Ryu that flourished in Japan in the 11th and 12th centuries. Among their other rituals, consuming the semen of his master was considered one of the ways for a disciple to progress in his spiritual journey, as the semen was believed to be the seed containing the master’s accomplishments.
If you’re interested in knowing more about Tantra, Hugh B. Urban’s scholarly work is a great place to start. And if you’re more interested in the practical applications of Tantra to sex and spirituality, Margot Anand’s Love, Sex, and Awakening: An Erotic Journey from Tantra to Spiritual Ecstasy is a must read. Margot Anand was the first person to introduce Tantra to the West.
4. The Sambia and Etoro Tribes of Papua New Guinea
The Sambian tribe of Papua New Guinea are known for a semen drinking ritual which marks a boy’s initiation into manhood. Boys as young as 7 or 8 are separated from their mothers and made to undergo a series of rituals that initiate them into manhood.
These include performing fellatio on elder males and swallowing their semen. Swallowing an elder man’s semen represents a symbolic separation from the mother by substituting the feminine mother’s milk for the masucline semen.
Another tribe from Papua New Guinea called the Etoro have similar initiation rituals for young boys. The Etoro believe that young boys are incapable of producing semen. Hence the only way of masculinizing them is by externally providing semen, either orally or anally.
If you want to know more about the rituals of the tribes of Papua New Guinea, the anthropologist Gilbert Herdt’s work on the Sambia tribe is a great place to start.
Limp Biscuit Meaning Limp Bizkit
And before we end our guided tour through the cultural history of the soggy biscuit, it is perhaps worth mentioning its most recent manifestation in pop culture – the American rap rock band, Limp Bizkit. In case you didn’t already know, this Grammy Award nominated band takes its name from our ancient ritual called soggy biscuit or limp biscuit.
According to Fred Durst, the band’s founder, they wanted a name for their band that would instantly disgust people because they did not want to come across as nice people. Other names the band considered were split dickslit and blood fart. But it was limp biscuit that they found the most repulsive, so they stylized it to Limp Bizkit, and the rest they say is history.
And if you’re still hungry for more interesting tidbits about the eccentricities of human sexuality, we suggest you check out this fascinating work on the history of human masturbation by the Dutch sexologist Mels Von Driel.
Featured Image by American Heritage Chocolate on Unsplash